From the time we are little people ask what you want to be when you get older...then you get older and people ask when your getting married and how many kids you want....we think we have our lives all mapped out. Funny thing is...we never really know where that map will lead. Dave and I thought we would have at least 3 kids...we always wanted a big family...we now know that our family is complete.
A year ago today I was in labor at this time...I knew that our sweet baby was already gone...I can still hear Dr. Nathan's voice in my head. I remember Dave driving us to the hospital...hearing Dave tell my mother and his mother...arriving at the hospital...hearing all the nurses and chaplain tell me how sorry they were...reading all the literature while in labor trying to decide funeral arrangements. I remember the way my husband looked at me while trying to console me...the way my mom held my hand and pushed my hair out of my face...I remember everything so vividly...I remember the first time I looked at my sweet baby girl..her 10 fingers and 10 toes...her sweet little skin. I remember thinking this is not how things were supposed to be..this isn't how we had our lives mapped out.
Thankfully with the support of our family and friends we have accepted that the path we are traveling is different than what we had mapped out...it's been a bumpy road but it's the path that was chosen for us.
Our sweet little girl would have celebrated her 1st birthday tomorrow...I'm sure she's celebrating with all the other angel babies in Heaven. Happy Birthday baby Harper...we love you.
Sending lots of thoughts and prayers to you guys! I admire both your and Dave's strength & courage. You guys have created an amazing family and have so much to be proud of. I know how difficult it can be coming to the realization that we don't design our own paths, but try and take comfort in the fact that the path created for us can be just as amazing as we envisioned! Thanks for sharing your family journey with us!
ReplyDeleteJenn & family :)